Hello there! I am a widow of three years and started this some time back. I am so much stronger and better able to formulate this process for you than I was three years ago. As much as we think that we are in charge of ourselves, we are often ruled by emotions and must handle those before giving to others. It’s a process and one we cannot escape.
I was married for 39 years before losing my husband to an unexpected cancer journey. That could not have been accomplished without the help of so many family members, friends and community member support. Never was there a doubt about how much this man was loved and needed by so many. He was so generous with his time, devotion and desire to help others that it gave us both a base to face the inevitable with the support of everyone. Recently I came to realize that we were so close that I could not tell where he left off and I began. That too is part of the process of grieving the loss of coupledom. My partner still hears my thoughts, feels my actions and certainly hears my prayers so I walk the widowhood with no regrets but with the confidence that he would expect from me .
So here I am in my sixties, retired mother of two wonderful self-sustaining adults with memories of great times and both good and bad and wishing that I could do it all over again, only better next time. You know how it is, hindsight is always better. Having taught school for a career I find myself with the old habits of instruction, sharing and management pulling at me each day. If I have something that can help another it’s only in me to share it. So having said that, I will be posting both emotional and practical advice to help others walk in widowhood or widowerhood should any men would be interested.